I have tasted flavor in my life and nowadays it just taste like vapes and carts.
The humble life of the epileptic with a slow heart murmur. Still! Tho still! Dreaming 🥴 dreaming of what these days.
Broader scoped and prosts into whatever the hell is good living.
Just Enough or Scraping By.
I’ve been both and I am both, but I don’t feel so belligerently scraping by.
The mindset to be so worried.
Days in advance thinking about the turmoil of hitting send on a bill.
And just accepting medical bill collections.
Underinsured, I’m sure.
But the medicine is a godsent.
It’s finally right and when I’m lacking the medicine gives me enough then it’s my part.
Chipper up or go to sleep.
..I keep having the weirdest dreams and nightmares. People missing me.
Goodbye Little Darlin’ by Johnny Cash rattatatatattattling on right now. We’re parting.
I decided to leave on my own and now I realize it’s been like 5 or 6 months since I stepped down from my old life, where abjectly I wasn’t treated right.
Thrown away with sickness and seizures and precaution like they lost their old friend.
Hey now: is what it is.
The 6/7 Friendship Cycle Flow of an Agent is intriguing to me. I once attended a class on it before in the 80s and I’ve seen it play out on my life majorly.
Growing up military in this life past adoption the coma yadda yadda, it’s seldom to find friends or they get rewired through the system of moves every 3-4 years. Sometimes you just flow with another family’s rescheduling contract.
And like living on base and off base are totally different.
I went from addressing in almost quilioquo duty turnover with kids to just being a kid when I moved to North Carolina and my dad a fresh contractor after retiring.
The 4th Grade and I saw this redheaded girl I remember from the 1st Grade in Arizona. The First Day of School and it was bizarre I had only spoken to her once but she lived right across the street from me and her dad was my dad’s boss before it got clerical.
And that was “my jumping off point” that Im not sure if other military brats pick up on.
Recruitment and Retirement Cycles.
When everyone’s young kids are parents of either 25 or 40. And I never got to hang out or go to houses with younger parents as a kid on base. It was just known.
Even in California.
And quiet life at my auntie’s house (Filipino houses aren’t quiet with kids) where I was resented for being on Barney before and they’d all clap their hands.
I also hosted a groundbreaking show meant for kids that adults enjoyed too and showed spectrums of science that were appreciated in many halls of life and academia… grab your talisman, kids 🕵🏻♀️ I’m bored and learning again loving life 😄
petrichor - archive 