Tag: Art

After failure to take a nap, I decided to break out the knitting needles.

It had been over a year since I “started” that project. A hope blanket I started on, thinking that it had no expiration date. A few rows back I started noticing inconsistencies. Too prioritized with counting stitches. Stiches so poor I wasn’t sure to knit or purl the row for an even lay. I lost hindsight and continued, thinking it could be a mistake blanket. Some conceptual design to mimic the human condition and my tumultuous affair of upkeeping hobbies.

I kept going. I kept with the stitches. I finished the row only to find I made a mistake. I’m not sure how I made this mistake. I knitted the whole row backwards. Not quite a knit, nor a purl. Disjointed and connected backwards. After my humble reproach. My instinct was to problem solve and figure out a way I could repair this hope blanket, mistake blanket. Then I realized it couldn’t be fixed. Not with my knowledge of solutions. I learned to crochet first, knitting still hasn’t came as natural to the nature of problem solving my own creation in the making.

I made the hasty decision. Tied it off. Grabbed the scissors. Cut the cord.

It was time.

I felt in that same way of release. Cutting the cord. I just did it. I finally did it. Dispelling whatever it was that caused me last time to use tools I knew weren’t meant for the job. Material that was too thin, too worn, too pretty, too old. Feeble beyond the braces of the strength of my hands at work.

I’m glad I finally finished the project.

I threw it away.

Before that, I mixed up my hands. Tossed the worn project into my yarn bin. Left the dismally shrunken skein on my desk. I noticed the mistake before I ventured for another cup of coffee. I changed the mistake, almost convinced I had two identical skeins in the same state. I’ve bought this particular shade for years, many times over. Almost as if I had won. There was no mistake skein. There was no mistake blanket, barely thick enough to pose as a border of a throw. Then I dipped my hands into the yarn bin and plucked the mistake out. It was tied where it wasn’t supposed to be tied, taught; and unraveling where I thought it was secured.

I finally let it go.

I cut the cord.

I threw it in the trash.

I am soothed.

Time for another project.

I have something to do.

Pass the time.

A dream come true; I could’ve created at any moment,

yet I choose, now.