I am much colder now, than I was before.
I don’t have time for fuddy-duddy time wasters and obligations of the status quo or doing something expected of me.
Queerness and womanhood, always at battle. I think I have elder daughter syndrome, and everything is put on me to balance – it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Shooting star that burnt out before the fireworks even popped, and that’s okay.
Pick up all my admiration for the washed up gifted kid that astrayed from academia and extra-curriculars, only to fall into this paralysis of working hard all built on a lie. I still have guilt.
I am much colder now.