I’m sitting outside
And the speaker is cackling to me.
Reminded of a 8th of November.
Only Last Year
And that was after 13 a
And
In the 20s
Was 15.

512.
Now it’s gonna be 513.
Many scrolley scrollies
Just to get to
Kismetly, the funny cider page breaker when my count loads were getting a lil wonky and crazy.
Hard to load my own page.

And that was like June 5th, of this year.
Over 400.

Wtf have I been doing with myself?
One of my biggest concerns is repeating a title
At least
Making them different enough.
I remember past 50 Entries,
I thought I had to check my Posts every time just to make sure I didn’t repeat my titles
En-doubtedly anxious + Expecting to fuck up.

I’ve lived that way my whole life.
Feels like that way for some reason today.
A cancer-puker to start a 4pm morning.
Sit Outside! Fresh Air! Sunshine!
2hr Cold Bath with no water heater
And it’s be appreciated it if I welled the pumps long-term at least once before the install.
At least you fix the broken sink banister base.
Gross.
And all the things down there?

Do non-germaphobes ever feel banned from gross-sites?
Like the gross junk drawer with miscellaneous dusty and gooey-sticky-shmutdust on everything .
Like every saved sauce packet from someone else cursed it.
Contraband, contaminated, a no-go zone.

And I often to do that same emphithet to non-tangibke concepts such as safeguarding myself in honesty & attention and how I hate it but I wish to grow bolder in self-reflections and a none whimsical life but a joyful one embracing sorrow…

..can you tell how many times I’ve rehearsed that in my head before?

I never let myself sit out here past dark.
19:11/7:11pm
In my deepest fears, traumas, and visions and paralysis and terrors of PTSD,
I used to withdraw myself from darkness.
Night Guard, not afraid of the dark.
I can’t close my eyes too often.
Gonna fall out of my chair at some desk somewhere
If I blink and rest and sigh and digest the congestion consuming every whisper I choose not to utter.
Declined to “excuse me” thank you “no problem”
And that’s all I got.
Not much for hellos.
And I didn’t give goodbyes for many years.

That worked in my favor, vastly.

“The Temperate DJ”
Thank you,
As I curse in Italian and have rested and starting to retire
And dusk-twilight
Dis-similar to 03:37/3:37am
And only strictly
Easier to remember
Than a 2y plus and a 10.

Why don’t most people read military time?
Or put it on a phone or watch and ask for other times and they tell me their method.
The 13 One.
You’ve been brambled stroked.

Count in Dozens.
2 in a Day.
Divide + Conquer; per say
In multiples of 6+4, 2, 12, 3, 8.

3-7s is the stupid way.
But that’s how you get 3 hours of sleep.

And the last hour of every wind-down is a snooze fest
And another reason to pesker
And subscriber emails
I will forgo sleep until after-9
am
And read about why I’m getting poor sleep
To many many conditions.

I like abnormal.psychology.

I’ve made you mad.
I love another website owner ,
They’re always fun.
And never look the same
When you see them in an office.

Celebrity Doctors
And they thought I was just Chef Girl.

I know medicine too.
And sleep disasters and insomnia quakes.
I’ve done this many years.
When I used to huff just to find another transit link to a page
In clicks
And rabbit-hole what you don’t
Show everyone.

If 400-500 stresses me out for me
And I feel
That ive oushed myself incredibly as a writer
And in healing the torment
Of not caring if being saved
But keeping the play on the game
Even with all your fumbles.

I learned rugby first, anyways.

[Spill The Wine playing. I’ll sip from my fresh second cup of coffee of the damn good coffee I make
that I made 32 minutes ago.
Spanish-spanish now tune.

***who the hell taught my dog how to cherry-promenade walk and shepherd and horse-jockey lead.
I suppose Haze and Pip enjoyed their trips.
And she flies like she’s been dropping feet to stories
Through the forest + hills.

Post-Kindergarten can look so good for some individuals.

That’s when my soul died.
It wasn’t CPA work.

Machine-made Actor for the 6th Generation, Nonfiction Scientist TV-Presenter and Research Host (para kids! y jovial souls just.kidsz hearts!)
And in fucking public school Kindergarten
Getting failed for summer school bc of poor-attendence.

Ask someone else the fuck why.

And my allergies have never been worse without my transporter supplying the antihistamines.
All that dust in the air on the drive , underwater sure
I presume it is quicker.

And now I got mosquito bites and the flies just wanna chill and I feel like I always smell like cinnamon now no matter what since the Scone Cake.

Passport by Masego.
I’m going inside.
Title soon.
And it’s dark,

boo.]
19:23. Sun 9/29/2024.

19:34
tiresome, eh?
Like a bird-on-a-wired-stet,for-sattetlite;poles. and all I’ve seen are sparrows and smart shuffles of foldered-consideration.
Still on my mind, often, always.
Some mentions offer a little too much
Synchronicity.
Put it to bed, I’m glad he did.

Much more cherished, that way.
Something someone wouldn’t tell me today.. 🎶🎶🌬️🌌]]].