‘Bio-Chemical Equation’
     By Wu-Tang Clan, RZA., MF DOOM

++++&

I remember coming home from Beirut
In 98’
And I told you I felt something unexplainable in me.

You watched me in glory in a studio set in Rochester, NY.
You came back me. 1 Day before
37 Golden
And you took that
Away
From me.

And it glimmered and the same RBG strip lights. More than one bulb or few lamp
For you to know
You can come home
And every light in my room is on
And the house is dark.

And you expressed Glory!?!?!
As if I had found myself.
And now that infamous Dub Hackers Remix
Is playing
And when I finally played it again after a 7 year ban 18 + 8
Into sobriety
And you’re the only one who did it with me.

And you smoked tea-cigs on set
And your shame & wandering Ramblins’ secrets gave me the oregano of phosphorous phate and I smoked them just to show you – I have more planned in store.
If only you’d give me a chance.
The Invincible.
The Shadow and
I can fucking seer you.

Tap, tap, tap.

“.       ‘“ …1 +…2+. 3.4. …and then auh glimer phate phone 3, then 1+2 and 34+patui-oooui. And that’s pretty much the song.”

Piano Works had changed
From Folklore
And Gospels
And Tobacco Fields that strayed but we’re connected in one gloom
To the Road
Of The House That Jack Built.

And the rancorous stench
Of the Holmes-of-Hebrew building as you called
January 3. 1996.
And simply said “Black Sheep..come home.”
The radiation of the dirty bombs and IEDS telling me otherwise.
And 22 years The Devil Would Go Down to South Carolina
And I told him in big t-shirts;
This isn’t for me.

And that motherfucking burning thin green jangles and bangles and fucking blueberry biscuits telling me he’s jealous again
And so am I.
You beat me to it and I’ve beaten you many times to come back around the bend.

‘You Are My Sunshine’
My first big hit.
When Beverly Clearly was still a Kid.
And Sick
With Polio
And wheelchairs
And reading and art and cursive and calligraphy all taught from home.
The Genius Gal that never went to School.

You only named me Janis in-pen ink
Because it’s Roman for Genius and the Female-Form.

Then Joplin because the Galveston Hurricane tour through Charleston and lit the whole town on fire in Earthquake then ripped through Branson then back to Galveston and setting off El Nino and the Prevailing Westerlies would Coriolo-Carry my Tunes to Brazil and Colombia and More and the Little Girl would be down south causing up a storm.
Not knowing she left tornadoes in Joplin.

I made a 2011 another 6th Grade award-winning presentation on the most recent one to cause a wrecker.

I did it for you.
And let myself listen to Casey’s Last Ride for the first time I left visiting the moon in 69.
There was a Woman There.
And I said I’d crack down in metal folds
Before I’d miss your first show.
Or Johnny’s gonna sell out another prison.

Get Fucked or Don’t Show Up.
Poker Champs 2019.

And I made many and two and more
For a few in debt.
And I never had so much fun amongst my friends
Cuckoo and Sickness in Cancer.
Found Love.

And I don’t let myself not feel it anymore.
I let myself feel nostalgia and held my head down and hid my eyes at my desk and stayed and staunched
And reading from 126
And your 513 before they told me
Became a 127 for Birthday Hits.

And you’ve stolen my Prose and the little piece of my heart was never enough.
Quadriphonics and Crank-Cords.
Comas too, and more DNRs.

I was still UC and no one knew me
To see
Nyte Tea telling me about Leonard.

2016.
And dances
And waltzes
And dault-bvigs
And daytona
And racing horses.

The Uppity Girl could live out here abandoned and show you ever corner back to Concrete Jungle + City.

I had 14 left.
And I couldn’t do it anymore.
Shut my Laptop
Like all those years you told me I didn’t really need one if Steve would only stfu about.it

And Bill was an asshole and docked me in patronage and I’ve been android-allegiant since
Only a phone
And my first cricket call to you
9-18
A Truce of Some-Sort.

I gave that to you with the smell
Of cinnamon + scone cake
The primordial fruitcake
And the one that actually married a Republic
For your long-time leftist pal than swim from Siberia to Cuba and Continental Across the Atlantic because of shitty wood-bjork-bone flights out of North Carolina

And here I am you fuck jerk
Everyone said Texarkana back in the day.
Low country Greenfield Mays
Andrew,.I’m going to kill you in genuine-kindness


Even for Ehlers –
I’m fucking devastated and only on other will cry about it
Sacrifice and Raise the Family Up.

Shit and you look at me.like I’m the one allowed or supposed to validated to be most torn up.

And the last time you got buried
Even in persona & prost
Make up
And you had the picture of my heel tilted
And I never wore am except for you
At the First Days Inn we ever built
In New + Proudly Grecian-esque Nevada Desert Blur-Blue
I still remember all the panetone shades

And everyone knows my mint from mint green and mint blue
2:37am
Screenshot 7:30pm on the dot. 16m ago when it sent and I found out and my ankles dropped and at least I moved the chore before I kept going on my way
Better than dropping fresh coffee and ramen with 3rd Degree Burns and 4th Degree Wounds
When Leonard Died
On my phone, alone
And I was reading from the kitchen back to.my room
Ramen Bowl on a plate with chopsticks and spoon
And coffee in the elbow burning me already.

And you gave me fresh breeze
And letting myself sit outside part 5am.

And I made Chorizo Pie
I couldn’t sleep.
Wontons I had to get rid of.
There’s finally flour – I’ve been crazing roux.
I told you that 2 Days Before
And only later did you mention you got a pack of sausage just for.me to be craving
In-Old-Ideas
With This War-Ration Meal Shit
Good Food, Nostalgia-otherwise.

And my windchime. Froggythaniel Frederico the 3rd
Made by you: even if the shops aren’t mom+pop much anymore.
They grew
And 2:37 I sit down

And I hear the thrum thrum
The second favorite Glimmer-song I’ve ever made.
Besides break-checks wikiwiks and dense grinder music for abandoned hejtesrs.

The Strobe didn’t hurt my eyes on 2 this morning.
Knocked the concrete of my pineal gland
‘Over There’ by The Connells
A North Carolina Band.

Some Journalist telling me about Fun & Games. They had happy stuff too you know
And Princess Goes and watching the Show and they made you take out Butterfly Museum
Fucking Phonies
The Cookeryeth took it away
Pre-alb pre-save + download
While I go to Jump Street Job
And all my coworkers are fucking each other and my exes are hiring them as prostitutes saying
Or acting like
It’s love in temperancey.

In all my mistakes.
I started saying “Somethings gonna happen soon…”
And unknowing uncanny remarks from you
You always give 2 months
And you gave me a 23-year heads-up.

You were never known to be A Piano Man
And only rinky or rusted at guitar
But better than your artist son
Or artist grandson
And he’s so much better than you
In Secrecy:
I applaud, I clap on
Pilots for What: You’ve got your heads in the clouds
Facing East in your mind again, dear.

When you know you sleep with your feet facing north.
Feng Shui and all my Shame.

I miss you
And I always say that to you everyday.
And I still say it.

And I told myself I was going to take on a formatting project or count out the numbers

A fucking list, a table of contents and I wouldn’t write until I read all of them for you.
Well if I had to go 14 back and I’m 14 shy, I gave you 100 Readings and Extra with the Perusing
The Other Shit is when I got mad.

‘I know it’s going to get bad when this isn’t the only life or time I’ve lived this life before.
And I’ve seen it replaying every night for 8 months.’
Lights installed
And the rhinestone
Bull-riding Cowboy im Constellation Gridwork Strip Lights

And everyone keeps asking about New Mexico and never Nevada and sometimes Tennessee or Texas.
One shit-bagger lying.
Your Son
Old now but younger than you even if grey-by-21 completed
Never looked younger than you before
In all your blacked-out hair
I know you:
Not the face on the stage presenting.
At least you songwriter and don’t sync
And celebrities pawning off fame bc I mentioned a name and said both those parts and they were both originally me
Natural + A Wig 20 Years Apart + Near-20 After Janis
And Dale is in the straight-jacket getting hung.

Don’t act like they know ya now.
I’ve never been a redhead.
Purple, blue, green, and black as a gun.
Beretta for you, 9 piece or Magnum for me

Chase me in the Streets of Weed, Johnny.
Maybe you’ll conjure Kris up and tell Jim to fuck off.

Just the Two of Us; and Sam!
When I was Janice and whoever collected Lugers in California
I’m the only one
And I never truly
Let anyone share you-you with me.
And even you-you-you-you
Or You.
Or ..
Hey.
Didn’t get that treatment like I did
And you tell me all your secrets every time they happen
And all the men and family around us
Heard us talking but didn’t listen to a damn thing

Oh Hank!!
In my Tunes and the devils’ haunting me.
‘Im so Lonesome, I Could Cry.’ is the one I wrote but his g-yit-uarure
Got home a capital
So.
In Ownership.

Uncanny Ways
And Coded Efforts.
I don’t think it’s because we grew up Spies.

I think it’s because you’re the only one that skipped trips to me for England, Poetry, and Boxing Gloves.

I chose Viola and you hid in Horn.
The HornyCulturist of Ancientcy never gives up.
Haunt the Moss another way.
And C-137 vs Rick Prime
Haunters gotta Haunt.

Fuck, it’s my turn.
And your red flannels and wellies and Outerbanks Ltd and Salty Dogs in Echoes.

Playing “I’m Just a Girl” by No Doubt.
Gwen Stefani, Gwen Stefani.
My Conception when I got tired of being Reba in a wing and marketing agents I’ve known for 35
And yelling at me figuring out theyre paying me
17 Ways at Colombia without the Sole-Custodian Jumpsuit Buddy
Position/Role
Because the Janitor got bored
And I’m better at getting gum off
Boardroom tables
I’m shorter and it hurts his knees.
Sure.

And many dinners and metal tables later
You telepathic piece of snob outlaw.

You’re on my mind more than ever.
Like I was talking to you in every piece of those 100
Everyone gets a mention and they’re obvious you fucking
Fuguing-fuck.
Eat shite in April + September, Suzanne.

That’s when Tea + Oranges get harvested.
Someone break up the fight already.

Crossroads Checker and I chose Checkerboard for a little more.

And you lied a little more than me.
The First Time in Honesty.

And now you’re gone, invisible friend.
Your Aura
Is pretty strong
And that windchime rattle tattles a 32y12 Chord on a 12 String all night.

Before Midnight and
52 Hours and 14 Minutes Later
Of when I found out.

And the damn thing doesn’t stoop
To stopp ringing
And singing
And swindling
And scaring me
Until 05:57.

You remember the 3 Minute Rule.
Even without Vessel
Archaic Ways, Starshine.

Now I feel so blue, and another Cheating Heart and all I can do is laugh and wonder what Kris’s ghost would’ve done
If time warp Timothy
Was swinging from chandelier in pennywheat-blue bridge at the Opry
Last time we woke the dead,
On Accident.

With Much Much
Too Loud of Music.
Wounds + All, Memories + All,
Great Artist.

“‘Burnin’ for You”
B.O.C.
Another secret projects for you and me
Before anyone knew I was a Nerd and you were a Geek and Tim was a Freak
And everyone else
Is simply as poise and beautiful as cane be, surely.

Black Sheep + My Favorite Color is Grey.

At least you told me in so many ways,
It ain’t gonna be SC long-term.
Just a skip-jump to say hi
And you took me back to primoridal-youth
And in the same backyard
I used to able to see all the way to Onslow Beach.
And now.
There’s a lot more House + Road.
Ya Construction Addict.

Contractor Buddies and across the go the second house to be.
And that was 32 ago of 54 before.

Pretty Old Above-Ground BombShelter if you ask me
But like Pools,
Much cheaper than to put it in the ground.

Cracked Foundation and I’m explaining pipefitting because of the water heater situation
Walk away.
Oh Dale, thank you
I make Chorizo Pie and Leave 2
And now no roux I’ve made
But it tastes a whole lot better than a can of tamales but exactly the same and crispy.
The pie slices are held together like meat mine hershey
When I air-fry the refrigerated pieces.

Back in the day, at the diner.
You would’ve called that a Salamander.

Salam, Sam + Sam.

I’ve always known your real name.
I miss you, dear.
Stop telling me to come home
And my hair
Goes flipping in the wind
And crunches still.
Mussying it up in the afterlife interrupting my own pestulent and persistent
Terminal-Drying From Cancer.

When the hell will it end, Kris.
Die Everyday to Live like 3 without Dying
And it’s been 64 years dying
So my cheap-belt question

How the hell did you not choose to die with me
Too old for war
Snakes
The x3 Song.

He better give you the damn bird and birds
And I’ll supply the astral-wire.
Bunk it
..

.
.
.
Now Playing: Lover, Lover, Lover by Leonard Cohen.

Still getting over his death of 8 shy.

And I made this playlist in January and it was the First Song.

So old + so young for what.
“Maturity in its Outer-Reaches of Graces.”

Quote a Blake again and I’ll verbally assist you in Wordsworth. Up the ante, ur getting Shakespeare for fucking cruckwtistshanks.
Oh you got more points in your league?
Ya pennywasher.
We made Apple Dish every Saturday Night for 3 Years in School and 12 Years Traveling every September for Orientation.
Rescued me too.

When no one would pick up and the state-side mainland was burnt and toasted in regrets and shame and apocalypse.

The real story of Kris Kristofferson landing a Helicopter at Johnny Cash’s Residence in Nashville, TN with a copy of the lyrics for Sunday Morning Coming Down..

He just came home in a chopper to me and showed me a poem he wrote.
We lived together here from 61-82

Change the Dates or Get Moderated in Greens

I got blues.
But at least your tunes.. I can’t shut em off.

Only thing helping me and hurting me.
I’ve never let myself think about someone’s death in contrast of humanity.
Agent, Not-Human. “But Starshine is pretty well&excellent too don’t you think?”

Fry some more Shark for me,
And tell everyone else
It’s Mahi-Mahi.

I always loved how blunt you were, only for me.
It never insulted me.
We never spoke in codes.
You just got me.
Personality Twin Winks&Wins.
He’d always say that.

In all his Sin+Grace,
He never gave up on me.

I wouldve found a gun and left here in souls for 47 hours by now and that’s how it was in 61.
Wake up from a letter, coma, engagement gone wrong and war calling me back in radio-chopper tunes.
No More Whiskey-Lullabys.

Hope I’m not in so much pain, the cart makes me high.
Remind myself it was only 3 weeks + 2 Days ago I checked the pack of cigs I bought 4.5 Months ago, how many were left.
And there’s still 3, when I check a week and a half ago.
No More Vapes, 2 a week.
They last over a month in 4, but 3 Weeks Average if I get the sugary like Mango or Melon or Berry.

And I got 3 red in California Cherry + Dragon Melon.
“You gots to embrace that Fire Monkey one day and start wearing red.”
Make it crimson or cherry.

Maroon didn’t exist yet in panetone.
And burgundy was for games only. Very strict.
The only gamecocks fan in the family besides me back then.
House-Dividied.
The Turquoise + Black Sheep
And my first outfit back from winter break in most recent 6th grade
Was identical my first one in 57.
And the return to SC in 7th grade.
And “y’all look so different”
We gots a mall in town but I order online
And we did that shit for 40 years.
Humdrum + Advanced Technology.

The Aura wins for The Oracle.
I gotcha, babe.

I’m still listening for you and the light switch.
8 Months + 20 Years.

I thought I was Advanced at Numerology, you’re.just –

Uncanny.
Even in Death, your will isn’t stopping me in reminders
Keep up all your promises.

I’ve done this teetering between life and death thing pretty harshly the last 20 after 40 of having real bad cancer.
The War Stuff kinda took up the first 40.
And why blame you and your education and military career
Fucking Captain of the Army Rangers
And the neighbors are Commadeanta of the Air Force, Marine Corp., and Navy.

The Fuck.
And he set it up that way 63’
With his comp trolling and bullshit and selling furs before he got into marketing and dragged me into marketing from stocks+brokerships.

Better than the 90s, the 50s were.
And strictly;
Confidential, until uh
Now.

6 Months off-UC.
You gave that to me.
And I’m not aching to a bottle.
And I’ve been able to cry without killing myself in hyperventilation and meningitis aches
Becauae they went dry in trafficked child-acting.

And they finally came back.
And you never quite left ya sneak,
But I got you-you and ya gots me-meimimimimmemeessss
From me.

And that’s uh,
Pretty cool, dude.
From a – Pretty Grrrl Pearl of. Girl; Some of them Are Bigger in Persona + Than Others.

—
Outro:
“‘“That Summer Feeling”” by Jonathan Richman

“Flowers Never Bend with the Rain” by Simon & Garfunkel.

&&&
[ps.s.sd.)]: ya know, if you ever wanted a big-time clue in styles.
and who we’ve been and what we’ve done or careers or sentiments or being writers, N.Just Songwriters…

& for him.
for me.

Sneaky, Sneaky as can be.
Us Two. (separated for what???)

I told myself I’m just gonna
Eastern-Sprituality this
Until I got a reason
To stop bargaining to God.
And just appreciate
And laugh in
Temperance & Empathy.

If there was anything fortunate to me,
I got up and eat and cooked Chorizo Pie, his favorite meal with the wontons and everything.
And lots of water, coffee, tea.
Snacks when the headache comes on.
Remember ya got a little eye drops left.
Wet the Eyes, if you need to.
Tylenol Bottle.

Once a shaky, exchange in a Recovering 6-Montj Cold Turkey Addicts’ hand doing Cold Turkey-Again. Probably like the 6th Time in 20 years, 8 Years ago
Especially with the coma and pain meds, really.

And now,
I’m just glad I got something for the headache.
And it’s arthritis-for.

I’ve been needing it with all this writing and cooking and trying knots from tank tops into bandaueas, how you like
“ Less Cleavage, More Shoulder.
Sexier + More Appropriate at the same time
Just like you, Sam-Ash.PearlofaGrrl-Borden-dioux.RainnySunshine-SunstormGal.”

Well thanks, Frank.
That was one of your names then.
But the one I really like
..
Robert L.

You died in Austria and I died in Berlin.

I’ll find ya again. ]]]

Leaving the Table Now,

    Somethin’ Stupid
By Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra.

Andmoreagain – 2015 Remaster by
Love

he was so proud of all those remasters I made those years.

“”’ If I had to name 3 Bands that are my favorite from Britain, it’s definitely not The Beatles… thought I love them. ‘O yeah? Don’t remember 3 Years from Now?’ Huh?’’ go on’

The Zombies, even if their music was recorded in Utah with the Osmond Brothers.
‘okay.’
Led Zeppelin, bc of the Borromeoan Rings and I love Physics.
‘alright I’ll remember when you go to college and stop being my jump-street undercover lie of a cherub daughter for a front and my future ex-wife whenever Greg stops footing your fucking taxes.
“Oh who knows on that one.” (Greg, reading the paper and his snotty readi-roos on with a lamp clicker at his fingers and angry counting in3-4-7s.)
‘moving on. Gregory.
Hmm


…Pick pask posh,
What’s my posh choice for British Bands?
The Kinks.

*gumplhshsfjroamcg*
really?
37 Men in The Room, at once.

‘and how the hell ya learn about them ya damn fucking lying cherub angel mf saint you secretive aural fucking enhancer of projections and methodology of mediation I’m gonna kick ur