Forgetful measures

And I am the one

Left to rot

And stare abysmally

Into the distance

Of whatever past life

Awakens in me

Routine, Organization

Life is not a party anymore.

Snuffed out silence like smoke

And I’ve smoked too much

But my head isn’t dizzy,

It’s tolerable and quiet.

Makes my mind tolerable and quiet.

Focused yet unfocused,

I’m not relying on the next benefactor

To be a shot of whiskey

Or vodka and diet mountain dew,

Hillbilly drink.

I fell in love with a German hillbilly once.

Now that he’s dead, he’s all I can think about.

The heart and the soul don’t move so quickly.

Blocked out a year and a half just to mourn.

Now I wanna write, I want to learn

I want to feel appropriate leaving the house alone.

I made it into a home just like he wanted, only to stop thinking I’ll be whisked out that door one day on some romantic excursion.

The stars are too bright and new moon is too dark.

I wanted to climb trees with you, one day.