I think about how we used to joke we never cried. And how long it was my 20 year goal to cry like when I used to as a child actor. Kids cry on cue always get booked. And Johnny agreed. In his selfish drunkenness he wouldn’t realize he cried all the time and now I realize how many years I let pass without even looking or having a reason to cry. Always wiping a tear whenever I smoke those cigarettes now that he’s gone. Still should’ve quit those but they make me think of you.