Category: Musings

1 in 5 birthdays;
Stretched over the course of your Life,
Will actually be good and memorable
Without memory of the environment
Just quick flashes like a carousel
Tape
And clips in the basement, attic or blanket-fort.

1 will be ambiguous,
Not quite imagery,
Like photo-sonic ambience.
First orange-lit tunnel and hearing the swish
It was the noisiest I had ever seen.
So many scared of those mountain bridges and miles long tunnel
Suddenly on the other side of the rope
And I’m in a new country, state, or county-line.

Maybe that one is the average-d out;
Of all the good ones.

If we can average 75-100 in a general,wide sense.
24 years is about a generation.
2 & 2 overlap forward, and back.
I’m a 2000 Millenial Bridge, so I see the gap in cultures.
That 3 years forward seems, like a lot was missed out on.
The formulation years when thoughts first come into theory.
Origins or whatever, a birth is reasonable to memory.

So with life-expectancy-knowledge and community theory because it looks different everywhere.
Most people thinks it’s just diet and not socio-economic factors like stress and war, to be honest about it.
Even if you’re not land-side; you’re never really land-slide if it’s declared and the all of society to the world knows about it.
Then like, you just join and know you’re gonna ship out.
=== Just inevitable – I’m going to see a Lot of the World.

The First Temecula One, [MAG. Flight] blah-blah that one.
Came up in recent views.
It’s been awhile.
Things are public. Hurts me all the time, but I can’t change and I’m happy people resonate and I got a batch of regulars and old-gravatar-faces that make me feel happy they still come when I was under contract wrapping and now I don’t have to do it anymore because it’s been 24 Years, I got Levy since The First Time I walked after a coma was on New Years Eve 1999 came on.
Like a fucking Scrubs floaty ringy dingy paper tube thing contraption and many kazuoos and 300 year old harmonics.
Ah, what a rest.
Went to use the bathroom and apple juice on the L-Bar heavy ass wheeled desk.
You are not eating yet.
Dinner is not Ready.
1:45am, it wasn’t even the ball dropping.
I stayed for breakfast, nap.
Lunch, snack, cookies, perhaps mac, gatorade, powerade,
Slim Jim or a box or 7.
Teriyaki Beef Nug Cubessensce Oblique Jerky
With cheese sauce, homemade-jhuzzed-up
. They were already celebrating bc I started tossing and turning and swearing in my sleep saying ‘it’s fucking hot.’
And the first thing I did was go to the radiator
And rip-the-knob-off
Just to find sealant in a drawer and push-pin it back in for some fucking cold.
They stopped me, then I got shocked, and was sleepwalking then woke up;
Then dropped. Beddy-time for 3 months.
The Eyes do et’ everytime. Anytime. Always have. Sleepwalking or not.
Oh shit, I’m real; [lucid-dreamer-shit.].\
–
=.
Anyways, I rattle-tattled-dattled some shit or whatever
And I got tresleches mf fruit tharrtttttt cake.
Wtf blessings.
My tradition is sushi and trying to remember I have a life outside of work; and I was indeed fruitful being a Writer and Working-From-Home and being a small business owner.
My careers mostly feel like obligations I uphold. Everyone bitches a little about work, I’m a Marine come on nowww. But at the same time’ Like _INternation.Al. You know what I mean?

I be doing some shit.
Jobs and Education and Shit.

I was disappointed that Education wasn’t a tag in my Genre Selection when I overhauled and when crazy on that mf.
Emotions in the MISC. that’s always a nice feeling.

After reaching Horror : Nonfiction : Thriller as a Writer; let alone by Collection 7 – it means a lot.

Then I Usually~~ start the page formatting or book-draft:sequencing titles and ranges then copyright and cover.
Some things were just like Canvas or Paint Tools back in the day. I tried a lot of apps and fucked around. Canva too.
And it always felt like “why would anyone pay attention to this?”
And I see to how they like -the-schematics, per-say.
Like the gridwork, the symmetry or dissonance.
Copy-wright and Animation-Graphing used to seen as chic-work.
Like it’s never going to last.
Less than a 100 Years Later and we got Steamboat Willie’
Gawd, that felt good.
Everyone has done disney toons and iconic otherwise media moments and now Pixar movies and the Indie like Dreamworks and that led to Illumination which was a culture-branch reach through Funimation. Crunchyroll streamed, and she swam, damn you like those awards ceremonies.
I checked the list… interesting.

I’ve been drafting.
Mechababy was like obvious-practice come on now.
I never hid watching or like anime because it was always my culture.
Only embarrassed to kinda feel the same sentiments as
Writers who feel ashamed that they liked what they created so much; or education-pursuits or maybe a pathway like me, did schoolwork and authorships – and it’s hard to tell you the book and series you really liked were prompts, theories, outlines, mad-libs it, cloud graph, bullet-pointe [bullet journal? New-to-you? Not being chazzed but We-st to The STreet if i needed to work 😉 =]
I’m just kidding.

Like it was schoolwork, you really liked it thank you.
But this is… is my free-reign stuff?

When I got published on another WP Publication that became the stand-point alone to formulate WordPress and keep the Servers going.
Everyone thought the military were asshole for going into IT so deep when the deep-coders that were like 95% of the graduating classes out of Maryland or SC of WWII, Korea.. Keep going, keeep going… keep going now… all of them since to present. Keep Up.

It ain’t crazy.
1 out of a Battallion of like 3 milli ina crater and some dude on 500 foot tripod that’s probably like a recycled wind-turbine from somewhere that was free-junked and probably like a fucking mini bus or metal restaurant chef frezzer with the steps to sit on (shelves, may distract those who are blind and never runa shit for 17 hours because inventory and catering got scheduled on the same day when you were gone for 3 hours to do a stupid fucking celebrity-satirism tv show with some other asshole chef and then the wife has to cater; offfhfh fuck. ]
Gotta get that Turkey Soup; why ? Everyone gets married in Fucking May in Memphis. Because M&M. The embroidery could so mean so much in alliteration if those wish to pursue just did it.

[i’m on the spectrum and squirrels catch my sight ; shhhh 🤫]

I don’t know where’ I’m going with this. 22:17. Good numbers,
Less than 2 hours and Hell and by-my-personal-calculations; a personal-filibuster-of-terminology-usage-thatsuits-mywork-ethic
And Life-Balance theory will just the Yacht Rock Scotch Toss; hold the Scotch and Burn the Incense and Listen to Jazzy Tunes.

Outro Track: Why Do You Run by Planet Giza [when it don’t workk.ik. Yo’ way. .. . . .. They say this EP was released in 2021 on Spotify. Anyone up-side of Maryland to Baltimore Bridge _ cheese-pizzaa-canit-gugh get a uhhh ; coke diet. To minnesota futuristic + puppet tv-haze. Ny. obv iously. I’d have people come in the shop hearing and get real hostile sniffing in the air who it could be;
Ambiguous asian-girl at the register; Sam on the lanyard…
Oh you juts made it too obvious didn’t you 🤬SHE GOT TIOT IT FIRST O NO; then- 😎 🥼rip-it-off ; then-a-breeze-cuts 🌊 then the waves crash, ⛰️ and the gravel-side falls ina slow-waterfall like cadence. r-n-b-Sequence* dance and slow shoulder-curving for some reason: LOOK AT THAT FUCKING SUNSET> then you put it tunes and it look crazy.

The Brak Show, Sealab 2021; Harvey Birdman Attorney-at-LAw.

Oh baby, i ain’t heard dem names now ina while… 🧑‍🍳🎶🧑‍🔬🎛️🧑‍💻 …..🧑‍⚖️; 🫴🏼 🤌🏼 👌🏼 👍🏻~as in turn it up a little louder; non-verbal gestures 🤏🏼 🤙🏻

Some damn good shows.
Hulu or Max.
Let’s be frank Adult Swim Fox or TBS-part or Adult Swim, wtf.

Chicken tendies and shoestring fries and #####333#### MFFF ROONIE CORNDOGS BOIIIIII i just know a speckle o’ treasure juts lie in them their mountainous golden french fries. Oh me o’ my. I predicted funnel-cake-dough-esque crispy scrapey. They always do that at Checkers; we know who work there.

His storage-tour videos make me proud.
I mentioned the show Grounded For Life. Recently and that’s such a deep-cut part of my childhood.

The Grease-EPISEODe. Terbbile but so on point.
I’ve been to Staten Island. Wu-Tang come now. ESNB. I eat crowder peas and collards; honey honey honey ..all da 4 cultures eat them mf hock and hog and jowl and foot; pickle it bitch. EGgs more eggs.
They peel easier later when you boil them for scot]ch’s;’eggs. O’fury. Bc they are mighty tasty oh my hahahaha. I’ve reached under for an electrolyte pick-meup.
I hate myself and dialogue. Nature be imitating.
I’m saying; I eat Balut with Just Salt.

It gets worse.

As all it does.

There’s an old meme about researching Alzheimers and it’s purple on the site-tag borderline.
And I had an Ad that I felt very special premier on the page.
And LIke; i had that dismal forbidden-morbid-meme thing about me JUST O NO : THEY KNOW WHAT I LOOK AT> runs in my Family. Dementia, Cancer, Heart-Disease. Besides the Genetic. They all precursours of major stress in one’s life and socio-economonic to born-instate-ofWAR. [psyh.d type analysis Chart.i.-writing. {{upload Old Drafts, break-coded and typed-without-Code into System to dispel waning paper that unfortunately has started to whither and thin and isn’t legible. PRotection Costs include “immortal-clauses” and it sounds so spooky. [another reference to The Fall of the House of Usher.; honestly come on.] But it’s just saying your account and information outlives 3 generations into the future averaged by 64; the fourth notch of the Fibonacci Sequence. Ya know; people start living to 100 pretty common now where Cetenerians or just in-reach starting by 91; the call it; the Fourth Boost. Sky-divers, world-travelers, story-tellers, chefs, depression pie pls and honeycrisp apple with foraged watercress; you know what it’s like to live – in the 1800s.. If they were born in the 20s and the average age people had babies was like 27?? From 1901-1929. People were too busy with business, sickness, alcohol-dependency into high-functioning or non-functioning and fluctuating regards.
The SmallpoX of 1912 comes to my mind. THe 21st Century Analogy- to Covid.
A littler later before the century would hit and a little before.
The Puberty-of-Gaia us Chaos Mathematicians call it.
Hormonal-Swelling of the Tectonic Plates.
Cobs and Green Beans.
Roses and Daffodills.
Gaseous and Rocky Planets.
Are just like: Busted and Baby Peaches.
Totally different.

Check the lore and take a Wikipedia deep-dive and learn like I did when I was going 47 Universities A month on Average and Term-Exams hit all-at-once and I still gotta show up to Public Middle School with a whole class of other baby-ph.d pursuits and quarter-quarter-quarters and competing who will get the Psy.D. Who else but Sam. Everyone dropped out in Covid.
I had nothing else to cling on sick but to write and overlap. Even mention a book that I abandoned and turned in the highest award-winning single film in The Academy’s History all the way to Sweet Moment between Legends all the same. The Goonie Rock on my Necklace makes me cry sometimes when I look at it.
Gerber-Knife Swivels and even NC still has a way through the water to get here from Oregon’s Gold Granite Coast. Gold to me, at least.

It was big for the Asian Community and AAPI Community and uh; to hear Asians and Natives that didn’t necessarily grow up with Asians say that it was a big moment for the Asian Community meant a lot.

It’s the One-Film I can’t watch.
I wrote it in 2 nites on my phone on a Google Doc and just named it Allusions and I wanted to name it ‘Bench Moments’ then I did a techno-hood-yo Dialogue;quip transmission and finally used it.
And my-Editor just took it bc it’s all backed up through the WGA to circumbat and vent the kinda ideology between writers in the industry peers, and the editing process “You don’t have the confidence to submit it – so I’ll take care of the rest.”

Then I saw it come up and my coworker tells me it’s the best film of all time. Better than Citizen Kane and i can’t watch it.
Surrounded in a Store and every show and film I wrote and I don’t know how to be honest.

Not every merchandise called to me and it was like my own haunting of work’s past and I just tried to get over it at every sigh. With journals and pencil case and book tucked in my bookbag or a haul at Barnes and suddenly I just started writing on my phone after I was just -dv-long-term-abused and someone left a daisy-chain on my own Asus 17’ with an AMD Radeaon 7th Gen Tip; the prototype. How sad and it’d only bee like a year or two or birthday or september. So disappointed I just kinda laid in bed for 3 or 4 years getting sober and cancer and mental illness and sleepwalking and 300+ Pilot Hours a Day for 367 Days a Year- for the overspan in Time-Zonage and traveling LightStream through the Bermuda Triangle.

My 15 Chapters I mentioned to another name-sake that gave up the nick for a full-term just for solidarity I guess, we grew up together in travels somehow mentioned or not.
And it was so romantic and ditsy and based off jobs and little quakes into something so similar.
Contracts and NDAs.
I type Screenwrite-Dialogue at QUIP. SO it just gets coded out.
Same with Anime.
And my bottle episode reading the bible every day learning how to give up the ghost and just do what I always dreamed of – while retaining everything else – has been healthier.

Acting like those 3-4 Weeks in-between wasn’t better than the 3 days that are harsh and the first-time-you-laugh after feeling good are pretty well.

3am until about after 8pm is pretty elongated to have a blissful birthday.

Whatever ignorance I got in all my discounted mediocrity;
I never thought I’d get around to my mid-20s somewhere in my mind of how many times I’ve had to grow up already.

And then the bottle flickers away and I’m not surrounded by empty wrappers and crushed powders
And not caring what rock I’ve hidden just to find another elixir or cure;
I was made my by-trial too and I donate eggs and prolactin everyday and i’m UniversalDonorOne so whether you need it or believe in it; it’s always there. Eternal Pregnancy Syndrome; combine it with a PCOS Period and Full-Body Cancer ; I fucking dare you.
This is painful life.

Just make use of it;
And the moments I give up ;
I’ve realized I was just resting for a moment.
Not just closing my eyes for 3seconds and calling it a nap.

It’s gotten much better since then.
For that, I’m grateful.

Woohoo. 🥳 -Sam. -SBWV.