Liberal Arts vs Administration?
Well I guess I’m the fool-hearty dumbass chasing education
On a dimebell
Supposing it’s the cows that sing to wake everyone up in the morning
And all the chicken left in the world is only supposed to be eaten like eggs aren’t made without procreation.
I suppose that’s a weird farmer joke for the morning.
It’s Early July post the Fourth of July, so this is the inevitable
`anxiettyyy~quakeso-mortalittyyyy coming at me.
I got Ehlers-Danlos we know that.
It’s been some-times since I’ve made it past 27 and 27 is kind of a big deal to me and
7 is a big deal to many.
And in Numerology, it’s the Number of MagicyMysticism.
So like.. What’s the worry?
With being born (into legalitoe-to-toe battles without myself over my astrology chart and communion birthday(S))
In circumspect superstition and I myself used
To walk backwards down stars and open my umbrella at the top of the stairs just to catch some air
And piss my Mother off for bringing bad luck in.
We’re filipino.
I’ve prided myself in wearing black all-my-life unbeknowst to whether anyone realizes I celebrate every day of the week to Holy Day to Goods-se-goods-diasmas
Every waking to half-dolphin-brain-not-really-sleep-just-resting-my-eyes
Rest
Whether it be attire, a bath, a prayer, a different self-soothing and praising skincare permutation I haven’t used before out of the bottles I’m starting to give to my Mother in shell-pits of 4 just bc I’m tired of being disappointed by the pretty and exuberant.
And every ugly tonic that will kill you or give you cancer or the cure you’ve been waiting for…has been the staple in the health+nutrition artillery of healing for awhile (don’t steal that, that’s mysaying.)
Insecurity, worry, foundations in my life. My mid-20s.
Could it get anymore riotous than to believe the minute baby and youngest in the room sees godchildren that I remember spitting up on me at 16 and giving 17 babies over a Summer 25 minute rocking in my arms [each in-rotating-turns wanting to be held or fed.]] and toe taps and showing them on my phone to letting
2-year old Mini-mes playing with my phone just to wonder what they could do.
An Amazing Photographer and somehow a memorizer of 8 digit Pin-codes on a Locked Government Device (whether anyone knew it or not that was ages ago) and could unlock my phone and open my Snapchat messages and follow and search Youtube and all her brothers and sisters could do that because the last one hadn’t been born yet and she never used their devices yet at 7 months but somehow knew from just sitting with me.
Clouded dismal jade and the baby is smarter and more excelling than the rate I ever went.
Laughs and hiccups and asking
“Are you a fairy? (nooo.)
Are you a unicorn? (nooooo.)
Are you a mermaid?? (no, not quite —_.)
Are you a Witch?!?!??! (I’ll guess we’ll have to see about that by Halloween. haha.)
THIS WAS 16 YEARS AGO AHHHHHH. I mean 8 but I was 16.
Mind works in fractions – Chaos Mathematician ya know haha yes, I’ve studied Dinosaurs.
[My best Jeff Goldblum impression. Fucking snake that blessing of an existence to humanity and all peril of sexy sci-fi acting nerds could get. I looked at the website when I was trying to leave this godforsaken Playbill State for Seattle.]
And that was about the same time I got asked all those colors for my hair. (That Trolls movie was out and they were convinced something was up with all this colorful hair lmao.)
It was purple {magenta pick I’ve been corrected by the man afore-mentioned later} then. My first Anxiety-Tone during the harbingers of the Pandemic [Hunter Green to Magenta Pink (purple.) to Navy Blue to Silver-Lavender Cross-Cropped with Face Framage to Grey to Ash Grey to White to Platinum to Roots + Blue ( that was aimed to be Hunter Green again but my hair was more red than yellow in tint bc I got orange as the undertone for my Jet Blackest Black Hair tone when it isn’t sun-hissed or kissed. Usually chestnut mahogany brown in the summer if I get enough Sun. Eventually it started growing back late in Stage 4 Terminal before The 5th Quarter otw to Remission. I just grow it back out and chop it off about every 3 years on/off crazy-hair-colors. Working on length rn. ZE CURL PATTERN IS BACK BBY 3BBBB Waves ayyee) [Alticacia School Portgual, Carolina-satellite [PMOTHERFUCKINGRRRRRR””” Carolina even though I live in NC..} {Yes, I attended beauty school amongst all the others and Harvard and shit. Ya know. I’ve been everywhere man.} and the move being fucking accosted then thrown out by Terminal Cancer and Nuerological Epilepsy and ever-fucking-swelling 4oz brain tumor that apparently makes me big-brain-smart. Bc my IQ is not on ~normal~IQ~statures.
Fucking migraines.
Someone bring the chocolate and salt the fucking eggs.
I craved Popcorn and daMFSTOREbymyways had preseasoned cinema popcorn bins from SEoul itself. (ArRHAkchai WEsternos Movie Theatre anD CienEMA I miss you too)
I chose Hot Spicy Chicken over Caramel and Butter.
If that doesn’t say much about me.
Well let’s just the hammerheads are upstream and this PCOS-queen is fucking dying in turmoil and art is the way.
Titthee on. 4 is always the goal if no block is a-present and the gift is the playing of the mines o’ craftlore.
Issa good for Charity Funding.
My financier handles the streaming. I know about it. – I see it in circumspectral-advances.
He always has my consent and awares me if my playing is being streamed or filmed.
We’re documentarians.
This is the guy to bring me tampons and toilet paper when I gotta wipe my ass with paper towels or bring out butro as wash my ass in the shower. [he cleanses it after I clean it while I whimper in shame+embarrasment in fetal position on my bed while he tells me I’m beautiful and I go on in 14th century dribble about how horrified I am so he tells quack-english 12th century limericks and I guess the Pen Name.
That one wasn’t written about him but he’s always around and somehow near.]]]
Facsimile Chosen Family.
Of course, there’s only one girl!!!
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