Ode To A Friend I’ve Never Met

The stage is set. 

Jasmine incense burning to remind me of the mountain where we never met 

I light a candle, however white with cinnamon, but found a green lighter instead. 

I pull out your old record 

Album recorded, pressed to impress,

My hair is falling out of the bun made 3 days ago

My pens at the ready 

I kept the light on for you, even though I prefer to read in the dark

I thought perhaps it’d keep me steady 

The book lamp is still here 

There’s a crack in the spine, so the lines may be lit, 

I thought of you again today

Even though we’ve never met.

I like to think I’ve touched your spirit 

Something kismet 

Long ago on the shores of Babylon

Or a hotel in a certain district 

Something about you is so serene 

Lines keep my mouth drooling with spit.

You’ve parted ways now and it made me feel forgotten 

Another life bred, but unfound 

I give gratitude to you

You gave me sound. 

Curiouser, I’ve followed your interests into spirituality 

Maybe I made it up in my mind,

Due to my nihilistic tendency 

But somewhere in your sound, I heard the longing 

It resonated with me, I found it profound 

Your lonely and darkness kept me waiting 

Instead I long for a soul like you, even though I know you have long since passed 

Maybe when I cross the border and find myself amongst the cavalry, I’ll find myself in an unmade bed 

Tell you not to go home yet

There is no reason, for I have not wept 

Stay with me, tonight will be fine 

It’s a story I have dreamt 

I’ll say so long to you anyways, you’ll say this is not goodbye 

Something in you is cherished,

My future still array. 

Proverbs lay in my head, to the sound of your tune experiments

I followed you through time, passages of decades listening closely on my bed 

I swear, all the great icons are dead. 

So I’ll wish for a soul like you, even if we’ve never met. 

I’ll read this book too, and hope your spirit finds me.

An old soul I admire from the new age. 

Greetings, I’ve wished you the best. 

In a future I find myself wanting, anachronisms unset 

I call out to you three times, and hope you hear your name,

Call me by that instead. 

If you are fortuitous in mysticism, I believed there is a connect 

Something about you so profound,

In my dreariest days, I long for your sound,

And listen to your prose

Long for the unknown and wish for a man like you,

You always looked so good in blue,

Instead I found myself red.

Crimson in contrast. 

I do not care for that color,

With it, I cannot rest 

Found more so on my cheeks,

Leading to unrest,

Maybe in the next life, of a lifetime found before 

I felt we were once friends, served with a grain of dujour,

Thousand miles deep I’ve wept for you 

And hope for your return.

This is not the ending,

Perhaps you’ve seen yours, but I’ve been anticipating mine as of late, 

And one day even though I lack the profound, I can sit at your table of greats. 

Maybe we will converse and share a cigarette or two, nurse our drinks 

A cup of coffee or a glass of wine, it’s your choice

You always chose the best. 

Call my name three times again, perhaps I will find you too. 

I’ll find you in this longing,

Not someone like you, but true

I hope for that one day. 

This is my escapism, this is my tool. 

If all that is left to relate to is now dead, I’m afraid that leaves me the fool.

You said look, but I leapt first

I thought you were in front of me but the echo charged and instead you were behind,

I follow you like the cavalry, I’ll follow you into the end of time. 

The birds are chirping, do you hear them? 

Like a lady so divine. 

Or a night by a riverbed. 

Your sound was there for me when I cried.

Dreams of dreams searching in twilight, 

I long for a person like you, but it seemed of fantasy so surreal 

Expectations are not on demand, but I sat by you by the fire 

Outside with the keys, and you listened, and you watched. 

That was the first time I found you.

That was the first time I felt my friend was still alive. 

I looked so different, unrecognizable today. 

But you looked at me, as if it were me. 

Personality entailed, and you asked why did I come, 

I said I had to find you, I had tea and oranges when I was feeling blue again, and it reminded me of you. 

I did not anticipate you to recognize me, know who I am. 

I did not remember how I knew the tune, but you said I inspired it. 

I felt this was all too becoming, and you looked and watched while I sit 

On a pew as old as the story of us, I thought I once knew. 

Maybe I made it all up in my head, maybe I just wanted to relate. 

Instead I found myself too late, separated by distance of age. 

I read the article, I read about the news. 

I couldn’t believe a man so familiar, has left us all too soon. 

I looked into you, and you reminded me of the past. 

Sitting on the concrete, with a stack of tapes, loaded next to next 

You were my only friend as I sat there alone, your words like a caress.

My soul was touched and I delved deep into my mind, a wish I made for you. 

You reminded me of the past, a past I never knew.

No participation trophy, no ribbon

But I felt I was there with you. 

You became an inspiration, a longing. 

I felt I related to you. 

I hope to find you again, and as I find you,

I stir lonely into the night wishing I was as strong as the women and ladies you left, 

If anyone deserved your time, the time was only for the best. 

Short and stir crazy I was,

I traveled down paths dripping in the blood of the flesh. 

Come again, come again you said. 

If I were to cast any stone,

I hope it skips to you, on the other side of the riverbed. 

Bred for my heart with a hole in it. 

The damage is unsaid. 

But I listen to you when I feel the reverb, for I do not seek healing or empathy. 

Even a course on an unmade bed. 

I wish I could catch your attention, I wish I could impress, 

Now I sit here lonely listening to your tunes, a book worn in smithereens in the shades of deep blue, exact.

I’m sorry I didn’t take care of the rind, I’m sorry there are chips,

I’m sorry it was dipped in water and dried, I’m sorry I could never finish it. 

I couldn’t bring myself to the last page, I didn’t even get halfway, 

I forget where it was placed, I thought it was stolen, or carved, just desperate in sweats 

I looked for you too there, and I heard your voice as I stared at the moon, and you stared at it as well.

Felt like you were right next to me, someone under a spell in the infinite 

I wanted to come home, I really did. 

You told me this was not the way, follow the stars, and I will follow with you too. 

Walk the thousand miles and forty until there’s soot, covering all the rest, 

I haven’t rested since that happened, I haven’t found, I haven’t truly slept

Instead I go on my journeys, only in my head,

Tap into the energy of one, and find the one I seek,

You look forward, while I do not look behind,

Perhaps there is something I’ve missed,

The search continues for a man like you, 

There is no describable set 

And I found myself in all those journeys, 

With my guitar on stage telling you to play a set, 

We drank another drink and another, exhaled the smoke and prepared to be smothered,

I said, have some confidence 

Talent is not bestowed or found, it is inherited,

And for that I willed you to the stage, I begged and I begged and I begged, 

Another missed connection for this life, but I watched the show and you were the star, 

I sang with you across the miles, in every dismal town, and every unlit dark bar, 

I was not known, there was no media following, I did not interact I promise, 

A ghost following the last search for treasure, I feel I once left. 

Time and time again I long for you, in my own modern unmade bed, 

I figured out a convenience to solve this, I think you found it funny instead, 

You said that’s not a hack, you did not solve the problem,

And I said well all is well, right? If I presume there is a structure. 

You said you must have pulled the tower, if you feel you have solved it,

I said it is no solution, but discretion to the tasks I abandoned, a fakery instead, 

And when I feel that avoidance, and I ring up my gown, formerly undressed, just got done visiting the town, 

And the lonesomeness hits, and I feel I’ve been made the clown, 

I sit and listen with you, and try to perk the frown,

You say you’re always stuck in the mud, your feet are covered in brown, 

And I’ll just smile and I said I was looking for you again, looking all around, 

And you’ll say dear, you’ve been mistaken, I never left, you left me here, you left me with dread

And dread? I’ll say, how could that be, 

And you smile hiding your anger, and whisper it to me softly. 

Do not despair dear, I remember you, I remember you in town in which there was no visit, 

I’ve remembered you for celebrations cast, I’ve remembered you when I had no thoughts pleasant, 

I’ve remembered you in this longing, and my travels everywhere distant, 

This is not the time, your suitcase hasn’t been packed, 

I waited for the sound of your feet at the door, 

But you never knocked, you just stood,

I’ll say that’s ironic,

I heard you too, though there was no sound.

And this time the wrinkles soften in your face, and I find rejoice, I find grace, I find everything I ever wished for, even though you present dismay, 

And with a frown disguised as a smirk, request another dance.